4 Reasons You Need a Spiritual Mentor & 3 Ways to Find One

I have yet to meet a Christian who didn’t have a desire to grow in their faith and know Jesus more.

In Matthew 5:6, Jesus declares: “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be filled.”

Interestingly, in this passage, the idea of “blessed” is not “you will be blessed if you do this” but rather “congratulations, this is how God made you.”

We were made to hunger and thirst.

There is something intrinsic in the Christian life that causes a believer to desire greater depth, to know Jesus more, and to crave intimacy with Him.

While it is true that we can pursue God on our own, He made us for relationship and He chooses to use the Body of believers as a means to encourage, challenge, and press each other toward Him. Paul, in Ephesians 4:11-13, writes: “[God] gave some to be apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors, and teachers, for the equipping of the saints, for the work of service [ie: ministry], and for the building up of the body of Christ, until we all come into the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, into a complete man, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ.”

In short, we need each other.

What is a Mentor?

Mentoring is a hot topic today—especially in the business world.

Typically, a mentor is someone I talk with to seek advice, wisdom, and insight based on their experience and expertise.

Yet “Christian mentoring” is more akin to discipleship than a business apprenticeship. True Christian mentoring is interested in the process of discipleship—the formation of the Christian life with ever increasing understanding and love for God and His Word.

If I seek a business or life mentor, the focus is often upon what the mentor can offer me through their wisdom and experience. Discipleship is more about coming alongside someone that helps me understand God’s Word and whose primary focus is to point me unto Jesus Christ and His wisdom as revealed in the Bible.

Life mentoring is desirous to make me better, but discipleship is a call to die—as Jesus declared in Luke 9:23-25: “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me. For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will save it. For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and is himself destroyed or lost?”

When I use the term “Christian mentor” I mean someone who is spiritually further along than I am, who is willing to walk through the process of discipleship with me—who will keep me focused on Jesus Christ as they encourage, press, and challenge me in my spiritual walk so that I may grow in my understanding of the Word of God, deepen in my relationship with Jesus Christ, practically build my life around Him, and experience a Christianity that actually works.

And we all need someone in our lives like that.

Something is Lost

Whether we call it Christian mentoring or discipleship, we have lost the essence of it in today’s generation.

In days-gone-by, older Christians would take younger Christians under their wing and walk them through the lifelong process of discipleship—knowing and loving God more day-by-day.

You see this in the life of Jesus as he poured His life into the 12 apostles or in Paul as he discipled Timothy and Silas. The focus for both Jesus and Paul was not merely to spend time with an individual—but to have discipleship—creating the lifelong hunger to grow and become more like Christ and to also disciple others who in turn would disciple others.

We need a return of strength to the modern church—and we need godly men and women to disciple and mentor. Men and women who will pour their lives into others who, in turn, disciple others.

Proverbs 27:17 says, “As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.” We need one another to sharpen us for greater effectiveness. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 says something similar: “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up.”

4 Reasons Why You Need a Spiritual Mentor

Back in episode 7 of the deeperChristian Podcast, I talked about five ways to grow in Jesus and I made the statement that “if you want a secret trick to moving forward faster and deeper in your spiritual life … find someone to mentor you.”

Here are four reasons why:

1. Mentors provide insight, information, and wisdom for our lives

A godly mentor is one who will offer life counsel, give outside perspective for decisions, bring a fresh perspective, and will be a sounding board that you can bounce ideas off of.

But rather than give their own wisdom, a godly mentor will continually bring you back to the Word of God so you can have God’s perspective and wisdom on your life.

As Proverbs 11:14 says, “Where there is no counsel, the people fall; but in the multitude of counselors there is safety.”

2. Mentors promote spiritual growth through discipleship

As previously mentioned, Christian mentors encourage and continually point you toward Jesus—causing you to spiritually grow faster. They refuse to let you settle and coast.

They ask difficult questions so that you are forced to wrestle with truth. Questions such as:

• are you growing?
• are you reading and studying God’s Word consistently? what are you learning?
• are you spending time in prayer?
• how are the inward attitudes and motives changing?
• are you the same person you were a year ago or are you becoming more like Christ?

3. Mentors preach hard truth lovingly

Christian mentors hold us accountable to godly living. They are willing to speak the truth we need to hear, not just what we want to listen to.

Yes, they may get in our faces at times, but it is done in love and with the desire to see us grow in our love and knowledge of Jesus Christ.

4. Mentors practice what they preach … and help you do the same

One reason we often seek out a particular mentor is that they have proven consistent in their Christian life. They have gained a grip on Christian living, are walking in victory, and can help us do the same.

I desire someone a mentor who is continually growing, learning, and becoming more like Christ. Mentors aren’t perfect, but they are maturing in their faith, dependency, surrender, and life with God.

Holy living can be difficult. We sometimes go through seasons where temptations or trials are more intense—and having someone who has “been there, done that” can be an added benefit to help keep your focus on Jesus Christ and to run the race with endurance as Hebrews 12:1-2 says: “lay aside every weight and the sin that so easily entangles us, and run with endurance the race set before us. Looking to Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith…”

3 Ways to Find a Spiritual Mentor

1. Seek ongoing relationships

These are friendships that are long-term in perspective. Whether they be for three or six months … or a year or a decade, ongoing discipling relationships are a great blessing to have in your life.

Let me describe two kinds:

Formal—a formal mentoring relationship is one where you are purposeful in what you discuss. This is often done through studying/reading books together or talking through specific topics each month. For example, you may want to spend a month and read a book on marriage then have a discussion on that topic. The next month may be on family or on how to study the Bible or prayer or a myriad of other topics.

Informal—an informal mentoring relationship still meets often, but is less structured and is typically not pre-planned in theme or focus. These are great opportunities to have lunch or coffee and discuss whatever is on one another’s mind, heart, or is going on in life at that time.

2. Seek one time opportunities

These “mentoring” opportunities is usually a one-time deal. Rather than having an ongoing relationship, this is typically a time to ask specific questions to an individual that you either may not have another opportunity to talk to or perhaps may not need ongoing support from.

For example, if you are engaged, it could be helpful to find several older couples in your church that have been married for 40+ years and schedule a time to talk to each couple about their marriages and their “secrets of longevity”—how they continued to serve and love one another after so many years. How did they keep Christ at the center of their relationship? What were moments of failure or success that could give you helpful hints for your marriage?

I would encourage you if you pursue a one-time mentoring opportunity, to come with a list of questions. Don’t presume upon the person you are seeking counsel from to just talk—think through and come up with more questions than you have time, prioritize them, and draw great nuggets of wisdom from the individual in your conversation.

3. Seek resources

Perhaps the greatest way I have been personally mentored is not so much through one-on-one relationships or conversations but through countless books, sermons, podcasts, articles, magazines, and online courses.

Over the years I have been personally mentored by Andrew Murray, Oswald Chambers, CT Studd, Hudson Taylor, Amy Carmichael, Samuel Brengle, AW Tozer, Charles Spurgeon, Ian Thomas, Corrie Ten Boom, and countless others—not by talking with them (and for note, they are all dead), but rather through their sermons, books, articles, and other resources.

Yes, meeting with someone is tremendously helpful, but God has used the individuals above—through their resources and life examples, to grow my faith and press me into Him—perhaps more than the one-on-one conversations and relationships.

Need a couple places to start:

• BraveheartedChristian.com — practical resources, tools, and training to help you live a Christian life that actually works
• Bravehearted Personal Discipleship — the new training model by BraveheartedChristian that merges live on-site training with online learning (I have the privilege of teaching in this program)
• deeperChristian.com — my desire for this website is to help Christians build their life around Jesus Christ … and I’m working toward creating an ever-increasing library of articles, videos, audios, classic books, biographies, online courses, and other resources to help you do just that

Don’t Just Find a Mentor … Be a Mentor

Remember, while it is great to find a mentor, it is also an incredible opportunity to grow yourself if you mentor someone else. Find someone of the same gender—whether they are a new Christian or someone whose age is in the generation below you—and allow Jesus to use your life to point them to Himself and push them into His Word.

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Listen to and Download the Episode

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Episode 29 Overview

In this episode, you will …

• learn what a mentor is and how Christian mentoring (ie: discipleship) is different than the typical business mentoring relationship
  
• discover that mentoring and discipleship in Christianity is seemingly lost
  
• hear four reasons why you need a spiritual mentor
  
• learn three ways to find a spiritual mentor
  
• receive two helpful places (and a bonus training program suggestion) on where to find great mentoring resources
• also listen in to a special bonus (experimental) segment where we play a clip from the latest sermon in the Bravehearted Voices Podcast

Show Notes / Additional Resources

Bible Verses Mentioned:

• Luke 9:23-25 – Then [Jesus] said to them all, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me. “For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will save it. “For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and is himself destroyed or lost?
• Proverbs 27:17 – As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.
• Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 – Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up.
• Proverbs 11:14 – Where there is no counsel, the people fall; but in the multitude of counselors there is safety.
• Hebrews 12:1-2 — … lay aside every weight and the sin that so easily entangles us, and run with endurance the race set before us. Looking to Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith …

Podcast Outline/Notes:

• 4 Reasons Why You Need a Spiritual Mentor

1. Mentors provide insight, information, and wisdom for our lives
2. Mentors promote spiritual growth through discipleship
3. Mentors preach hard truth lovingly
4. Mentors practice what they preach – and help you do the same

• 3 Ways to Find a Spiritual Mentor

1. Seek ongoing relationships
2. Seek one time opportunities
3. Seek resources like books, podcasts, articles, sermons, online courses, magazines, etc.

Bravehearted Voices:

• Sermon Clip: Bill McLeod – The Return of God’s Glory 
• Listen to the entire sermon the Bravehearted Voices Podcast by BraveheartedChristian

Other things mentioned in the podcast:

• BraveheartedChristian.com (resources for a Christianity that actually works)
• Bravehearted Personal Discipleship (100 days of discipleship training)
• deeperChristian Community (get free resources to help you build your life around Jesus Christ)
• deeperChristian Podcast Episode 7 — Lifelong Transformation: 5 Ways to Grow in Your Spiritual Life (Part 5)

Join the Conversation

Question: What are some great resources from history past that has helped you in your own discipleship process and spiritual growth?

Leave a response or ask a question and we will try to address it in a future episode.

The difficulty with podcasts is that they are one-sided—so each week I ask one question for you to participate in the conversation. Head over to the deeperChristian Facebook page to leave a comment and join in the conversation.

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About NRJohnson & the Deeper Christian Podcast

NRJohnson (Nathan Johnson) is a Christian who has an overwhelming passion for Jesus, the Gospel, and Studying God’s Word. He is a writer, teacher, and communicator who helps other believers understand and apply the Bible as they grow and mature in their faith—desiring that they gain greater intimacy with Christ, experience the victorious Christian life, and transform the world through the power of the indwelling Holy Spirit. Read more about him here.

The Deeper Christian Podcast is the podcast to help you study God’s Word, know Jesus intimately, and discover how you can build your life around Jesus Christ. This weekly audio program, hosted by NRJohnson, dives into Scripture and encourages Christians to keep their focus upon Jesus Christ—equipping believers in how to study the Bible and know God’s Word, grow in their spiritual lives, and change the world. Main discussion topics center around practical advice on Christian living, Bible study, prayer, the Gospel, freedom from sin, evangelism and how to share your faith, the Christian disciplines, and the lives and messages from the Christian heroes from yesteryear such as A.W. Tozer, Charles Spurgeon, Major Ian Thomas, Oswald Chambers, Hudson Taylor, Amy Carmichael, Corrie Ten Boom, C.T. Studd, George Müller, Andrew Murray, Leonard Ravenhill, E.M. Bounds, and others. Learn more about the deeper Christian life.